County Fairs are very strange.
This weekend I had the pleasure (or misfortune?) of accompanying my eight year old cousin to our county fair upstate. For those who don't know, my house is in New Paltz, New York. New Paltz has a pretty liberal and laid back state university, is about 30 minutes from Woodstock, and has a bunch of stores with names like "The Groovy Blueberry" or "Endless Horizons." Basically everyone up there is either a unwashed college student or looks like this:
The Ulster County Fairgrounds are usually reserved for snobby events such as the Crafts Fair or Taste of New Paltz, but in the one glorious week a year, it serves the purpose for which is was named and houses the county fair. You would expect a sleepy liberal minded county in upstate New York to not get too excited about fried twinkies or pig races or a booth where, for $20, you can take a picture with a baby tiger (I shit you not). But the place is packed every single day with people who look like this:
Where the hell do you come from?? As a former lover of the Delaware State Fair, and someone whose been to Pigeon Forge, TN, I've seen your kind. I would expect pregnant teenagers and families with less than 20 teeth between them all down there, but really? Upstate, NY?? Do you people standing in line to get you and your baby daddy's names airbrushed on a Confederate flag tee shirt even realize how far north of the Mason Dixon line we actually are??? I certainly haven't seen your likes at "The Groovy Blueberry". Do you crawl out of the hills once a year to play whack-a-mole with the change you've scavenged returning cans?
Also, I think i've gotten too old to appreciate carnival rides. I have a massive bruise on the side of my hip from ride after ride of centripetal force pressing me into the side of some cheap glittery car/boat/dragon/apple/spaceship. Also, I needed to vomit after like the third ride, and that feeling never went away. Ugh.
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