"It would be nice to think that since I was 14, times have changed. Relationships have become more sophisticated. Females less cruel. Skins thicker. Instincts more developed. But there seems to be an element of that afternoon in everything that's happened to me since. All my romantic stories are a scrambled version of that first one."
-Rob Gordon, High Fidelity
Truer words were never spoken. I'm 23, and I just bought a marble notebook to resume my diary that I've been keeping since the 7th grade. I just put on some old school emo music and am preparing to sit down and write down all my stories, then i'm going to get ready and shower and go hang out with my best friend. This has been an average July day for the past ten years. TEN YEARS and i'm back where I started. I went to college! I traveled the world! I was in a successful three year relationship! Where am I now? Lusting after a variation of the same person i've been pining for since I was 14. Except now instead of worrying about things like being home for curfew, I need to worry about getting pregnant or herpes. THANKS FOR NOTHING, MATURITY.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.
Eek. Sorry blog, i've been delinquent. Forgive me? We still besties? Alright good.
Ugh i've been delinquent because I don't know what to say? I'm still unsure of how personal I want to get here... I guess as many of you know, I've met someone. If you don't know, a cursory glance at my facebook will give a pretty good indication of who he is, since he's all over it. Well anyway, this is my first foray into the grown-up post-college world of dating. So of course I'm freaking out about every little thing (as you all know and have had to deal with-love yous!), because I have no idea what's considered normal and how to deal.
First crisis:
Facebook friending prior to first date
Who does this? I mean really, who does this? Why would anyone want to put themselves through such scrutiny. Would you like a background check and blood test? As if a first date isn't nerve wracking enough, here why don't you look at 5 years worth of photos where I'm wasted and attached at the hip to the ex-boyfriend I thought i'd marry. I'll have a looksee at your ex's and compare whether or not i'm prettier or skinnier than them. Also, I don't want to see all these girls writing on your wall. You can carry out a million different love affairs for all I care, i just don't want to see any evidence of them. All I want to know is that you'll be at our designated place at our designated time and you won't have lipstick on your collar.
Solution: Well this crisis kind of fizzled out, or more accurately is now fueling my crazy. Now I'm less concerned about you dissecting my life, now i'm just flat out obsessed with yours. But that's a whole 'nother blog entry.
Second Crisis:
Bringing your friend to our second date
Okay fiiiine it was bar trivia, okay fiiiiine you need more people, but come now. How awkward! Especially since I have no reciprocal friends on my end to bring! All my good girlfriends are living out of state or hate nerdy things like bar trivia. The rest of my besties are guys, and that's really awkward to bring a dude to a date. But yeah, so my second date consisted of three people. Awesome.
Third crisis
You not making moves
This is actually not a crisis at all. When I became newly single, I had all these grand plans of being somewhat promiscuous, and not getting attached to anyone anyway anyhow. Well it looks like those ideas are thrown out the window. At first I was against it, but then I started reading "Into the Wild" and it's been pretty eye opening. I bought that book because I thought it would inspire me to run off, just say "fuck it" and hop a freight train to Alaska and live off the fat of the land. Who was I kidding? As I went on reading about Christopher McCandless and his fanatical ethical and threadbare l existence, I realized there's no way in hell I could ever even attempt to do something like that. I get grouchy when I get less than 8 hours of sleep or if there's any noise or light pollution. There's no way i'd last more than 4 days without all my creature comforts. This kinda bummed me out for a little while, but then I realized extreme adventure wanderlust is not my Rushmore. My Rushmore is falling in love. I couldn't possibly ever have the life of sleeping around; I'd simply fall in love with everyone, but I'm okay with it. I'm happiest when I'm doing things for the pursuit of love. I'm happiest cooking delicious foodstuffs for a boyfriend or for buying them things when they're on my mind, or for solving problems and offering suggestions and doing anything that would make them happy. That is my Rushmore, that is my "walking into the wild". So yeah, the point of this long ramble is to say that I guess I'm perfectly fine with you not making moves. Because that's how I like it. Maybe being a genuinely nice guy is your Rushmore, and i'm more than happy to take it slow, so long as you keep telling me i'm gorgeous and think up excuses to hold my hand. But if it don't work out, then I have comfort in the knowledge and experience that I can move on pretty easily and fall in love with someone new, without much transition time.
This is a really cute song about meeting someone new, and you should listen because it's adorable.
Ugh i've been delinquent because I don't know what to say? I'm still unsure of how personal I want to get here... I guess as many of you know, I've met someone. If you don't know, a cursory glance at my facebook will give a pretty good indication of who he is, since he's all over it. Well anyway, this is my first foray into the grown-up post-college world of dating. So of course I'm freaking out about every little thing (as you all know and have had to deal with-love yous!), because I have no idea what's considered normal and how to deal.
First crisis:
Facebook friending prior to first date
Who does this? I mean really, who does this? Why would anyone want to put themselves through such scrutiny. Would you like a background check and blood test? As if a first date isn't nerve wracking enough, here why don't you look at 5 years worth of photos where I'm wasted and attached at the hip to the ex-boyfriend I thought i'd marry. I'll have a looksee at your ex's and compare whether or not i'm prettier or skinnier than them. Also, I don't want to see all these girls writing on your wall. You can carry out a million different love affairs for all I care, i just don't want to see any evidence of them. All I want to know is that you'll be at our designated place at our designated time and you won't have lipstick on your collar.
Solution: Well this crisis kind of fizzled out, or more accurately is now fueling my crazy. Now I'm less concerned about you dissecting my life, now i'm just flat out obsessed with yours. But that's a whole 'nother blog entry.
Second Crisis:
Bringing your friend to our second date
Okay fiiiine it was bar trivia, okay fiiiiine you need more people, but come now. How awkward! Especially since I have no reciprocal friends on my end to bring! All my good girlfriends are living out of state or hate nerdy things like bar trivia. The rest of my besties are guys, and that's really awkward to bring a dude to a date. But yeah, so my second date consisted of three people. Awesome.
Third crisis
You not making moves
This is actually not a crisis at all. When I became newly single, I had all these grand plans of being somewhat promiscuous, and not getting attached to anyone anyway anyhow. Well it looks like those ideas are thrown out the window. At first I was against it, but then I started reading "Into the Wild" and it's been pretty eye opening. I bought that book because I thought it would inspire me to run off, just say "fuck it" and hop a freight train to Alaska and live off the fat of the land. Who was I kidding? As I went on reading about Christopher McCandless and his fanatical ethical and threadbare l existence, I realized there's no way in hell I could ever even attempt to do something like that. I get grouchy when I get less than 8 hours of sleep or if there's any noise or light pollution. There's no way i'd last more than 4 days without all my creature comforts. This kinda bummed me out for a little while, but then I realized extreme adventure wanderlust is not my Rushmore. My Rushmore is falling in love. I couldn't possibly ever have the life of sleeping around; I'd simply fall in love with everyone, but I'm okay with it. I'm happiest when I'm doing things for the pursuit of love. I'm happiest cooking delicious foodstuffs for a boyfriend or for buying them things when they're on my mind, or for solving problems and offering suggestions and doing anything that would make them happy. That is my Rushmore, that is my "walking into the wild". So yeah, the point of this long ramble is to say that I guess I'm perfectly fine with you not making moves. Because that's how I like it. Maybe being a genuinely nice guy is your Rushmore, and i'm more than happy to take it slow, so long as you keep telling me i'm gorgeous and think up excuses to hold my hand. But if it don't work out, then I have comfort in the knowledge and experience that I can move on pretty easily and fall in love with someone new, without much transition time.
This is a really cute song about meeting someone new, and you should listen because it's adorable.
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