MTV, what have you done to me???

Sigh...

So, last night (against infinitely better judgment) I tuned in for the season premiere of the final season of The Hills. MTV suckered me in my saying "We know you have nothing to do on a rainy Sunday, so we're going to rerun the entire first four seasons of our splendid creation and you're going to watch it and wax nostalgic about what you were doing when Heidi and Lauren and co. were shiny pimply faced 19 year olds." So yeah, MTV I succumbed.. and I did wax nostalgic, because in May of '05 as Lauren and Heidi were getting excited about their new LA apartment, I was getting excited about going away to college and meeting hot boys and going out drinking every night and not worrying about who sees me the next morning. So, seeing all these events unfold made me really sad because so many things have changed! For me and for them, but this post isn't about my loses, it's about Heidi.

Dear, sweet, Heidi. I never really liked her, the whole first season she was all about sittin' pool side and being a ditz. Her job as a club promoter or whatever was the most obviously fake out of the bunch of fabricated jobs the ladies were given, and she never really added much to the show except to pout about this and that. I guess MTV saw this so they told Brody he better get a blonde douchey man friend and he better make moves on our innocent little mountain Fraulein because she needed a heavy dose of being treated like shit. Well as anyone with a pulse knows, Spencer and Heidi snowballed from having a bit part unhealthy relationship into the show stealing mega monster that is "Speidi". Then came an endless string of publicity stunts of increasing intensity; first there was the rift with Lauren, then their shotgun "i wanna get married in Mexico, you don't get a say-bitch" wedding, and finally the Frankensteinian level of plastic surgery she just went through (which, again, anyone with a pulse is at least vaguely aware of). When I first heard about her recent "changes" I was surprised, kind of sad, but mainly just wanted to see her trainwreck fully unfold with morbid curiosity and schadenfreude (that's two German words this entry, for those keeping track!) It wasn't until last night when I actually saw the creature she's become that it really hit me; wow, this girl is a lost cause. She kinda reminds me of Ophelia in her increasingly desperate attempts to get the attention of Hamlet, but maybe that's just because it's been a while since I've written a comparative essay to Shakespeare... in any case-

I think Gawker summarizes things best by saying "She became some sort of version of Heidi as she imagined the show defined her — pretty, booby Heidi with her shallow, fake husband — and MTV saw it, they saw it, and said "OK, let's roll cameras!" .... Heidi tried to chew, she tried to cry, but she couldn't. So she just sat there, her eyes wild with the recognition that she can never go back, and you realized that MTV ruined this kid's life. They gave her a platform to indulge her greatest insecurities, to stoke her deepest unhealthy desires, and they encouraged it and filmed it and sent it out to world while saying Ha Ha." (citation)

Sigh...
I hope someday you find happiness Heidi. Move back to Crested Butte and have a lot of puppies and marry a cowboy and let it go to voicemail when MTV next tries to capitalize on your misfortunes. :(


On a lighter note, this is pretty great, and pretty accurate. The Hills as babies: